A JRock Christmas
by MentallyChallengedNinja
Summary: Bou-chan says Santa isn't real, but Kai knows he is. But what if he doesn't come! What if Santa thinks all of Kai's J-Rocker friends are just too drunk & bad he skips Kai! What will the gang do to make Kai's Christmas the best? MY X-MAS GIFT 2 MY READERS


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_Detachable Noses With FREE Uke and/or Seme Nosebands!_

_Made from 100% authentic Reita_

_*Not laible for any injuries from Reita getting pissed and killing you*_

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"Santa is real right Reita-kun?" Kai glanced at Reita who was perched on a stool messing with his beloved bass.

"Umm," Reita swished his hair back and looked at Kai who was sitting on his bed still in his strawberry pajamas, "I guess...why?"

"Oh, well Bou-chan told me Santa wasn't real...that is was just Keiyuu in a red suit stuffed with pillows..." Kai started picking at his hand nervously, "Are you sure he's real Reita-kun?"

"Yeah, pretty sure," Reita looked down at his bass, his E string had just went flying off the neck, "What did you ask Santa for, Kai?

"I asked for-" Kai began, his cheeks quickly becoming pink, but before he could finish the bedroom door flew open.

"_Feliz_ _Navida_!" Uruha giggled, his warm voice filling the room.

"_Feliz Navida_!" Aoi stumbled and fell through the doorway.

"_Feliz Navida, Prospero año y natividad_!" Ruki stepped on Aoi, almost becoming as tall as Uruha.

"_I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas_!" Kamijo (_from Lareine and the Versailles but here, he's just in Lareine k?_) pushed Ruki down.

"_I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas_!" Hyde peeked through the door and decided not to join the jumble of J-Rockers.

"_I wanna wish you a Merry Christmasss form the bottom of my HHHH~EEEE~AAAAA~RRRRR~TTTTT_!" Gackt grabbed Hyde and using him like a microphone, pushed Kamijo down and jumped onto Ruki and Aoi and knocked Uruha against the wall.

"Haha, encore!" Rieta clapped.

Kai sat speechless, what the hell had just happened!? Peering over his bed he watch as the obviously drunk J-Rockers rolled around on the floor slurring Feliz Navidad and giggling.

"What's wrong with you guys!" Kai cried, he hated it when they got drunk, "Stupid idiots!" Kai threw his pillow at Uruha, "Stupid!"

"Whhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeee," Kai looked up just in time to see Miyavi roll past his doorway on a roll-y computer chair with a Santa hat on his head

"C~R~A~S~H"

Kai slammed the front of the apartment making everybody jump. Without even glancing at his friends, Kai stormed to his room, snow falling off his jacket.

Miyavi, Gakct, Uruha, Ruki, Aoi, and Reita sat on the couch, quietly ashamed that Kai was mad at them. Hyde had since gone home, since he had been the only one sober enough to drive.

"W-where's Kamijo?" Aoi asked after he heard Kai's bedroom door close.

"In the bathroom I think," Uruha glanced at Aoi, "Or in Kai's ro-"

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Kai's voice shook the apartment, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!! WHY ARE YOU WEARING LINGERIE!!!! GET OUT NOW!!!!"

Everyone on the couch stiffened as the door burst open ad a sexy Santa suited and still very drunk Kamijo rolled out of the room giggling.

"You stupid people! Ruining Christmas Eve!" Kai cried, tears forming in his eyes, "I HATE YOU GUYS!!!"

"Waaaah" Miyavi burst into tears, never had Kai told him he hated him.

"Did-did he just..." Ruki blinked, "He just..."

"Fuck!" Gackt went into the fetal position and began crying.

Kai threw himself on his bed and began crying. "Stupid Uruha and his stupid sake! Stupid people always have to get drunk! STUPID STUPID STUPID!" Kai hit his bed with his fists, "STUPID STUPID STUPID!"

"Hyde-kun," Kamijo cried into the phone, "He-he yelled at us!!!!"

"Kamijo, stop crying geez!" Hyde glared at the phone, how could such a 'proper' person be such a cry baby!? "Don't worry Kamijo, I have a plan."

"Stupid idiots," Kai mumbled for the hundredth time, his eyelids becoming heavy, "Now Santa won't come..." Kai's ears twitched, was he hearing bells? "Gackt needs to stop stomping around!" He thought, listening harder.

"Ho ho ho," Kai's bedroom door knob began turning.

"Holy!" Kai's eyes widened, "Santa!?"

The door opened and a tall blue eyed chubby Santa walked into the room.

"Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas Kai-kun! Have you been a good uke..I mean boy... this year?"

"Wow, Santa! You're REAL!!!" Kai sat up in bed, "You even sound sorta like Gackt"

"Ahhhh, well I'm related to that beautiful beast, but that's beside the point!" Santa chuckled, " I got you a special gift!"

"R-really! A g-gift!?"" Kai's eyes widened.

"Yub, and here is my little elf bringing it right now!" Santa took a step to his left allowing a short Hyde-looking elf into the room.

"You're so dead," the elf mumbled inaudible to Kai as he pulled in a large box.

Kai sat speechless, his mouth hanging open in awe, "For me?"

Before the elf could set the box down, Kai was hugging Santa, "I love you Santa!!!!"

"Hahahaha, settle down Kai-kun! You haven't even opened it!" Santa chuckled.

Kai stared at the box, which was just as tall as he and quickly he began ripping off the paper and tearing away the box.

"Oh my..." Kai took a step back, before him stood a life sized figuring of Mana (from Malice Mizer you no0bs), his hero.

"Santa! You knew!" Kai jumped onto the figurine, hugging it very tightly, "It even feels real!!! I LOVE YOU SANTA!"

"Heh heh, I'm not the one you should thank, thank that sweet sexy smex machine Gackto-kun," Santa was punched in the crotch by his elf, "And that lad Hyde-kun too..." Santa whimpered in pain, but Kai paid no attention.

"I love you!" Kai hugged the figurine harder, then suddenly he felt the figurine hug back.

"Nani.." Kai looked up, the Mana figurine blinked. "You're-you're the re-real..." Kai gawked in awe at Mana.

Mana smiled and kissed Kai on the lips leaving purple lipstick on his lips.

"This is the best Christmas EVER!!!" Kai threw himself back onto Mana, sending Mana's loli skirt intot he air as they toppled to the floor.

Ruki, Aoi, Reita, Uruha, Kamijo, and Miyavi peeked throught the doorway.

"You did it!" Uruha whispered, catching hold of Santa's jacket and the elf's shirt and pulled them out of the room.

"Yeah! Kai 'tis be happy!" Kamijo squealed as the door closed.

"Yup!" Santa tore off his beard, "Time for Santa Gackt to be happy too!" Gackt leaned over and kissed Hyde, "Elf time!" Gackt smiled deviously.

"Wait," Ruki whispered and put his ear against the door, "Are they..."

"I LOVE YOU MANA!!!!" Kai moaned, "I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!"

"Yup," Aoi giggled as he walked back into the living room, "Our little Kai is..." he stopped. On the couch were 6 wrapped boxes.

"Gackto-kun did you?" Uruha spotted presents as well.

"Nooo," Gackt stopped kissing Hyde.

"Lookie lookie!!!" Kamijo screamed, "Lookie! It's Santa! Kamijo sees Santa!" Kamijo pointed out of the window, almost falling out.

"Oh my god! I GOT CHRISTMAS SAKE!" Uruha's voice distracted the group away form the window.

"HOLY~I got a Lolita dress!!!" Aoi squealed.

"Ritalin?" Miyavi muttered, depressed, "ADD medicine?!"

"OMG A GACKTO-KUN DOLL!" Kamijo cried, "YES!"

Reita coughed, "A nose?? What the hell!? What type of sick joke is this!"

"Wow I got an inkei microphone!!!" Ruki giggled singing into his new microphone which still had a bow wrapped around it.

Hyde fainted, "A(n) _insert your name here_ doll..."

"WHAT!?" Gackt yelled, "VIAGRA!?"

"MAAAAAAANNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Kai's moans grew louder.

"Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Santa flew over the J-Rockers' apartment chuckling deviously, "What good little rock stars I have this year!" ^__^

~THE ENDZ~

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_*THIS IS MY X-MAS GIFT TO YOU, MY READERS!!!!_

_**I hoped you liked it, I totally got carpal tundrel syndrome from typing it's 1,505 words -_-"_

_***this tiz be one of my longest storyies in one page/submission w/o chapters sort thing so far...- does that make any sense?!_

_****took me two days? to write...and inbetween this story in my spiral I had started another yaoi fanfic xDDD it was soo confusing!!!_

_*****tell me what you think! REVIEW PLEASE!!!!_

_******A MERRY J-ROCK-TASTIC/VAMP-TASTI CHRISTMAS (or what ever you celebrate) TO YOU!!!!!!!!_


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